today i shaved my armpits and pussy. i dont know why but those specific parts are really dark, like dark dark, compared to the rest of my skin. i used the shower thingy, which was reflective, to see my private areas, now shaved. idk but it reminded me of an elephant. its really disgusting down there. i wondered, if i was another person, would i able to lick it? like for head, because head is one of my biggest fantasies to fulfil when i become an adult. anyway, and since other people's pussy would look like that as well, would i be able to lick it? idk, idk, its hard to know. what about the smell? i wonder if i am sexually attractive to other people... well, if i will be sexually attractive to others when i become an adult. no underage sex!!!!!!!! very important!!!!!!! uhm uhm uhm i hadn't shaved for a while so the bush had really accumulated, and it smelt bad. like really rank. i hadn't showered for a while either... i should really get into the habit of showering regularily so that i can at least be clean. but laziness, laziness. i cant be bothered to do shit!!!! so, anyway it had accumulated a lot and i'm really happy i took it all off. bush is good but not too much so that it gets all stinky, and the hair stick to each other into one big clump because of my discharge...yuckyyy... so now i feel nice, my pussy feels nice. like a baby. it'll itch a lot soon... uhm, also today, my dad decided to have an 'open discussion' about my current beliefs. to be honest, im just biding my time until i take off, its really irritating to hear them blabbing on and on about 'ohhh who created everything' and 'ohhh think DEEPLY' and in general, they just reuse the same arguments all over and over again. its depressing. ugh fuck this shitty baka life. anyway, i refused at first because it would obviously turn into a whole big argument and there would a lot of screaming and other shit. anyway, after their insistence, i was also itching to tell them what i thought (despite consequences), so i went into the argument. well, they said that i should think deeply about the universal truth and some other stupid stuff im not bothered repeating. anyway the thing is that whenever i raised my voice they kept going at this condescending way about ohhh we're just having a discussion, stop losing your temper, stop being so emotional, and i keep telling them, that it is because they keep talking over me and not understanding what i am trying to say so i have to shout to reiterate my point. and, well, i do get irritated at the way they keep ignoring what i am saying, but there's a difference between that and being emotional. anyway, my parents have some real bullshit double standards. they expect me to keep researching about the same things over and over again, but when i ask them, how much do you know about other religions and how do you know that? they're all like whatever god said yadayadayada. i know this whole thing sounds incoherent and it seems they made good points, but trust me, if you were there, you would obviously see they were not listening to anything i was saying. so yeah. i definitely do think i am in the right, as does every other person on the planet earth, so yayayayayayaya. im not bothered convincing them either. i just wish they could leave me alone. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh